The Best Christmas Present Ever

John and I were excited to go and visit with Luke on Christmas Day. We had some gifts, a very special story, a "super" blanket,  and even a Santa suit for him to wear. When we arrived he was fast asleep on his belly and his nurse Suzanne was on duty. Little did we know that she was about to give us the best Christmas present ever. She told me I could hold Luke for the very first time. Since the moment he was born all I have wanted to do was hold him, but I didn't expect that it would happen this soon. I had mixed emotions. Was he ready? Was I ready? So I had her explain how it would work and then we started getting myself and him ready for what they call Kangaroo Care.
I sat in a chair right next to his isolette, they unhooked him from everything, and at the last minute unhooked his oxygen tube, which I reconnected after she brought him over to me. Then his nurse tucked him inside my tank top and then reconnected some of his monitor wires. Once he was settled in I was able to focus on the fact that I was holding my son for the very fist time. My first reaction was an emotional one. He was up against my chest and I could feel his warmth and him breathing.

What a moment! I was not able to see his face, but John could. This was a special moment for him too because normally we don't get to be so close to Luke. For the most part Luke slept on me, but John said he also opened his eyes several times and looked up at me.

He did really well outside the isolette and we think he enjoyed the bonding time with us. We took tons of pictures and a few videos to capture this special moment, but most of all I just sat there focusing my sense of touch on how amazing it was to have my little boy in my arms. I kept rubbing my chin against his soft head. At one point he was holding onto my finger and even squeezing it a few times. Each one of these moments will forever be in my heart. John too was able to feel Luke's head against his cheek. To end our Christmas moment John read his beautiful story to Luke as we all huddled together for the first time as a family.

Now of course I am going to want to hold him all the time, and John too. We look forward to the next time we can feel this closeness again.